Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
