I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
