Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
