Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
