peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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