real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
why is half of my head shaved?
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