My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
