Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
