2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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