Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
me + whiskey = a bad person
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
