wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
