Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
