just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I would fuck him just for his dog
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
