Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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