they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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