porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
