I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
