I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
