just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
