I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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