where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
