Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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