Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
