Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
