I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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