shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
