I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
