i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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