i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
