that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
