all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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