Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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