I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
God, I missed his penis.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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