It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
