Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
