you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
