Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
