And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
