You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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