Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
