Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
