I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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