billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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