come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
