This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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