Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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