sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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