we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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