so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
we're so committed to being not committed
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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