you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
